


Antoniette

by OzTennant



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: (can be read as romantic if you squint), Gen, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Rhodey being awesome and supportive, Tony Stark-centric, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 15:32:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7444432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OzTennant/pseuds/OzTennant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark, who is born under the name of Antoniette Stark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Antoniette

**Author's Note:**

> There is a moment in which a slur is used to refer to a trans woman and also implied child abuse, so if that may be triggering to you, proceed with caution.

Tony Stark, who is born under the name of Antoniette Stark.

Antoniette, the little girl genius who is punished whenever she shows herself too smart, whenever she wants to build robots instead of playing with dolls.

Antoniette, who frowns every time someone calls her “a lovely little lady”, knowing, somehow, that it's not quite right. That at age eight cuts her hair hersef all short and spiky, only to be beaten and screamed at when her father, who never ever looks at her, sees the wild hair and loose t-shirts she's wearing and says _freak. ___

Antoniette, who is forced to always wear dresses and ribbons and skirts ever since.

Antoniette, who never feels really right in her own body, who cries herself to sleep when it starts changing, becoming wronger, who can barely hold herself when her mother says, with for once a proud gleam in her eyes, that she is becoming a woman.

Antoniette, who is clearly ahead of her classmates and is accepted in MIT at age fifteen, who finally has a chance of being herself (even if she’s not at all sure who “herself” is). Who cuts her hair short and wild in the plane, very much like when she were eight and eager to look right. Only, instead of the slap and spitted words of her father, there is only Jarvis, who kisses her forehead and tells her to be free.

Antoniette, who receives odd glances wherever she goes, the classy Stark lady with old rock bands t-shirts and an unruly short hair. Antoniette, who stubbornly ignores it, ignores all the looks and whispered conversations, because she finally has a chance and she's not letting it go because of some stupid college kids.

Antoniette, who is labeled as weird and a show-off and too self-conceited to be friends with, who eats alone for three weeks and speaks only to her teachers and Jarvis by phone. But also Antoniette, who is finally adopted by Rhodes, the popular guy on her year that says “Hi nerd, I’m Rhodes” and eats with her. And he does it again, and again, and does not stop, not even when she teases and mocks and shows herself smarter than him.

Antoniette, who between whiskey bottles and people she thinks she might know hears a guy talk about a Clarie, and isn’t that _freak _a fucking tranny, a goddamn man in a dress that goes around tricking the guys? How dare he, really? And she feels like her insides are frozen and a bad taste in her mouth as she laughs weakly, drowning the overwhelming guilt she can’t even compreend in glass after gass of bitter whiskey.__

Antoniette, who in her second year sees a paper about the LBGT club in MIT and is curious despite herself. Who searchs and discovers the meaning of each word and then she gets to the “T” and says “Oh.” Who feels the world madly spinning around her, and just a little bit light-headed, because it suddenly makes sense, all of it, and it feels like resolving a challenging equation, only a billion times better.

Anthony, who starts laughing madly until his roommate looks at him weird and he has to hide giggles and tears in his hands. Anthony, who reaches for his phone and almost dials the number but then stops, because, what if Jarvis doesn’t understand, what if he spats “freak” the same way his father did all those years ago? He knows Jarvis would never do that, knows how he loves Anthony way more than his father ever did, but the knowledge is new and so is the fear, and what if he doesn't love Anthony, just Antoniette?

Anthony, who misses two days of classes because he has to know more, has to learn, and maybe he also has to get used to the new, unsettling feeling of freedom that comes with knowing who you are, that you're not alone and never was. 

Anthony, who smiles so wide it feels like his face is gonna split when Rhodey comes, worried about him, who almost tells, almost, because Rhodey asks “Annie, are you alright? You aren’t hungover again, are you?” and he remembers, and falters, and falls silent. Anthony, who smiles, just a bit sad, and says “Were you expecting something else?” and lets the matter drop.

Anthony, who enters a department store somewhat shyly and who can smirk and flirt and be charming with the salesperson all he wants, but whose hands still tremble when he picks up the black pair of boxers alone in his room. Anthony, who stares at his body in the mirror and smiles, smiles so much, because it’s still wrong and still not him but it’s something, and that’s more than he ever had (and if there’s tears in his eyes, well, that's something only he has to know).

Anthony, who starts going to the LGBT club meetings and smirks and makes fun of the people there until they finally ask him why he’s here, because if it was just to mock them he’d better leave right now. Anthony, who tells them, playing with the tip of his too-big hoodie and feeling the words get caught in his throat, because saying it out loud makes it more real, and it is both terrifying and exhilarating. Anthony, who looks up, irrationally afraid that he won’t find acceptance, not even here, only to find gentle, understanding smiles.

Anthony, who starts hanging out with the LGBT kids all the time, who cuts his hair shorter and shorter and shorter, who smiles whenever one of the people from the club calls him by his true name, until Rhodey stops him one day before class and Anthony knows.

“Annie, what is happening? I mean, you seem to glow whenever you’re with one of the guys from the LGBT club, and then you just… grow sadder and sadder when you’re not? And… and all the changes in appearance... I don’t wanna invade your privacy or something like that, but I’m worried, Ann”

And he could lie and give a sarcastic remark, he could brush it off and pretend it never happened, but he's just so tired of this all, of the lie he is living since birth, that he just explodes.

“Don’t call me that!” And Rhodey looks confused and a little hurt, and he can already feel the guilt creeping on him, but he’s not Antoniette, he’s not.

“My...my name is Anthony. I’m not a girl, I never was, and don’t you dare try to tell me that I’m… I’m a freak or that I’m wrong, don’t you fucking dare, Rhodey, don’t….” There are tears in his eyes and no smirk in his face and he feels like he might just crumble down but he doesn't care, because now Rhodey knows and he’s gonna leave him and…

“Shhh. It’s alright” Rhodey’s chest feels warm against his face and his words are comforting and soft, and Anthony thinks he never felt any safer than right here. “It’s alright, okay, Tony? I’m with you.”

Tony, who among tears that waited too long to be shed looks up and smiles, letting the hope in his chest run free and wild. Because, at least for now, he can believe in this guy who had stood by him when he had no one, can believe that everything will be finally alright.

Tony, who goes to a doctor with Rhodey, and then another, and another, until the prescription for testosterone is put in his hand and he feels like he was just given a ticket to paradise. Tony, who goes to his dormitory one day only to find Rhodey with a binder in his hands and an awkward smile in his face, who laughs and cries while hugging him because it’s becoming true.

Tony, who learns to feel comfortable in his own skin, to look at mirrors and smile instead of avoid them, to ignore the whispering and glares and slurs and instead pay attention to the “Tony’s and the acceptance and the quick correction of pronouns.

Tony, who goes running around the dormitory laughing and crying because the first shade of a beard appeared in his chin. Who shows it to Rhodey like a proud kid who just got an A at a math homework, and laughs as he messes his short hair and says “Alright, alright, you're not just a boy anymore, kid. Tony Stark is becoming a man!”. Rhodey screams the last part to the whole campus proudly, cupping his hands in his mouth, and Tony smiles so wide his cheeks hurt.

Tony, who hangs out with friends and goes to class and builds robots and gadgets and tools. Who is just as snarky and just as kind, who gets used to be called “Sir” and “boy” and “Tony”, who grows and matures (although not that much). Who cannot remember a time he was so happy.

Tony, who receives a call late at night to learn his parents have died in a car accident. Who feels numb and not at all sure of how he should feel, because his father was never more than a stranger to him, someone he could never please but oh, how he tried. Who cries for his mother, for although he never felt he could be himself with her, he loved her fiercely, and was sure she felt the same.

Tony, who travels back home fidgeting with his phone and feeling a panic attack at the edge of his consciousness. Who goes to the funeral in a fit black suit and a binder, his face most definetely not feminine anymore. Who feels so, so afraid, because this isn’t some college thing anymore, never was, but this makes it more tangible somehow, confirms that there’s no going back. 

Tony, who holds his head high while talking his last words to them, but can’t seem to look Jarvis in the eye, afraid of what he’ll find there. Tony, who lingers at the end even though he just wants to run, only to feel the warm and comforting embrace of the man who had raised him, who cries as a child when Jarvis whispers “I’m happy that you can finally be yourself, Sir.” because he feels like he can finally breath.

Tony Stark, who doesn’t have to ever be Antoniette again.

**Author's Note:**

> It took me ages to write this, but it's finally done! 
> 
> I hope you guys like it. I'm trans (non-binary) myself, so this fic means a lot to me. I'm fairly sure I was respectful in all of it, but if something escaped my eye, please tell and I'll be happy to fix it. 
> 
> I thought about writing all the way down to the Iron Man & Avengers movies, but to be honest, Tony's life after this continues to be much the same, as it often is (My identity as trans is highly important to my life, of course, but I still have to go to school and find a job as much as everyone else). Also, it has come to my notice that Rhodey and Tony's relationship may be read as romantic. I didn't plan it, but if you wish to read it as such, feel free! (that's the best part of reading anyway).
> 
> Overall, that's it. My journey to write every and all characters as trans begins!


End file.
